In December, 2002, my routine mammagram revealed a 'sinsiter' spot that was really a stage 2 tumor.
Two lumpectomies removed all the cancer. But just to be sure, there were 9 months of chemo and radiation treatments that were intended to seek out and destroy any cancer cells left in my body. This was followed by 5 years of drugs to block the production of evil, but very necessary estrogen. I have 13 more months of this cancer breaking therapy.
At the year's end, I will have 5 years of being cancer free. While that sounds like a good thing, doubts fill my days. There was my life. There was the cancer. Now there is a wilderness.
The 'cocktail' of chemo drugs created more havoc in my life than just eliminating the radical cells. Somewhere in those days of confusion and nausea, my soul's foundation was shaken. All of the false premises and roles, that I had built my adult life around, were broken and split into nothing more than sand piles. I was left in this wilderness with someone I had forgotten, Me. This is my journey out of this wasteland.